When you are competing in a jiu-jitsu or submission grappling match, it is very important to have someone in your corner coaching you. Typically it would be your jiu-jitsu instructor, who knows you well and can give you valuable advice during the match, however, often times at a competition there are multiple students competing at the same time, and the teacher can not be in everyone’s corner. Or sometimes your instructor can’t make it to the tournament and you have to get anyone who is willing to corner you. Sometimes this can be kismet and your corner is a fantastic fountain of useful advice. But every once and while you can end up with a real dud of a corner person.
Here are the top ten things you DO NOT want to hear from your corner during a match.
#10- “I’ll give you an A for effort. It looks like you are really trying at least.“
#9 – “Hey, funny story, turns out the white belt you are competing against is a division 1 wrestling champ, THAT’S WHY they are destroying you.”
#8 – “Damn smoky, that guy/girl/non-binary human is kicking your butt, I mean did you see that osoto gari they hit? That was beautiful! I’m gonna ask them to show me that after the match.”
#7 – “Hallelujah, oh my gosh, you woke up, I thought you were dead!”
#6 – “I’ve been texting with the gang, and we decided we ARE going to play D&D at Kyle’s house this Friday.”
#5 – “This is the most boring match I have ever seen. I am going to go get lunch, and I’m not even worried about missing anything.”
#4 – “Oh, sorry I fell asleep for a bit, what did I miss? Yeah Tina has been snoring a lot lately and it keeps me up.”
#3 – “Hhhmmmm, you seem to be doing very badly, but on the bright side, I am making a list of all the things you need to work on.”
#2 – “Hey, sorry to do this, but my ride is leaving now, so I have to go. But hey, good luck out there!”
#1 – “Wow, this is a really weird, what is even happening? This is just really violent. I had just signed up for my first free jiu-jitsu class, and I was excited to try Jiu-Jitsu, but now I’m not so sure. I think I’m gonna try modern dance instead.“