As I was getting taken down and drug back and forth across the mats like a salmon fisherman being mauled by a grizzly bear, I couldn’t help but feel like I was at somewhat of a disadvantage. You see, the kid I was sparring, at that Wednesday night Jiu-Jitsu class, was a former division 1 collegiate wrestler. I didn’t have much to offer in response to his takedown shots. He would shoot, I would react by sprawling, and he would have fired off two different counter techniques before I even managed to sprawl. It wasn’t just that he was faster than me, it was that he had already anticipated my reaction before I had made it. I was playing tic-tac-toe and he was playing Cones of Dunshire.

It made me think I should be looking for a different hobby, but then I thought, no I should be looking for a time machine. If I could go back in time, I would just drop my younger self off as a kid at any old grade school in middle America that had a great wrestling program. You can thank me later younger me!

But snap back to reality and I had by some miracle managed to wedge the kid against the wall and sit on him for a minute while I hyperventilated. He looked at me and said, this is boring, let’s stand up. For some reason I did, and then, lo and behold, he scooped me up and dumped me one more time.