OK, so about last night. When you threw a tantrum in the parking lot after Jiu-Jitsu class, like a great big toddler. Remember that? Kind of embarrassing isn’t it? Well the good news is that you aren’t the first person to do this, and you wont be the last.

Whenever I am at Jiu-Jitsu class, and someone is feeling sheepish about loosing their cool for one reason or another, I tell them you haven’t been training Jiu-Jitsu very long, if you haven’t thrown a tantrum. In my case I usually hold it together until I get out of the gym, then in a fit of rage I kick my car door repeatedly and scream “I *%$& hate Jiu-Jitsu, why do I suck so much, I quit!” Then I regain my composure and I drive home. Sound familiar? Have you too lost your sh*t in a fit of rage? It’s pretty common in my experience, so why is that?

Let me start by saying that in Jiu-Jitsu (or wrestling or Judo or boxing or Muay Thai or etc.), there is no faking it. You can’t train regularly and pretend to be something your not. This fact is one of the things that makes the environment so wonderful. The down side of this, is that you sometimes end up emotionally exposed. And then there’s the fact that losing in Jiu-Jitsu, just getting your ass kicked, can feel so damn personal sometimes. You can lose a video game of FIFA against a buddy on the xbox, and as angry as you get you might just throw the controller. In combat sports, you just lost a physical altercation, you just lost a fight (well not really but it sure feels like it sometimes). It’s hard not to take getting your ass kicked personally.

The silver lining of the raw experience, is that it forces a constant emotional review process. In Jiu-Jitsu, we are forced to grapple with our own ego (yes pun intended). We have to slow up our pride, to remember that we are nothing special, to submit to the journey. In the end it doesn’t matter if we are good or bad or mediocre at Jiu-Jitsu. What’s important is that you keep training, just keep training, and the rest will sort itself out. Just be. Everyone wins sometimes, and everyone looses at some point. It’s easy to win, but we don’t learn much, it’s how we react to our losses is what makes us who we are, that teaches us. So swallow your bitter pill and smile, getting your ass kicked builds character. There, don’t you feel better now?